Lucas Leibforth

Conflict. We’ve all been there. Maybe it was an argument at work, tension with a friend, or even just that awkward family dinner where someone brought up politics (because nothing says “pass the mashed potatoes” like a debate over tax reform). Conflict is as unavoidable as traffic on a Monday morning. But as followers of Jesus, we’re called to approach it differently—not as peace fakers, not as peace breakers, but as peacemakers.

But as followers of Jesus, we’re called to approach it differently—not as peace fakers, not as peace breakers, but as peacemakers.

Peace Fakers

Let’s start here. Peace fakers are the people who avoid conflict at all costs. They sweep issues under the rug, hoping they’ll magically disappear. Maybe you’ve been this person. Maybe you’ve said things like, “It’s not a big deal,” or, “I’m just going to let it go,” but deep down, it’s still eating at you.

Here’s the problem: pretending everything is fine doesn’t lead to peace; it leads to resentment. Ephesians 4:25-27 tells us to speak truthfully to one another and not let the sun go down on our anger. Avoiding conflict doesn’t bring peace—it creates a pressure cooker that’s bound to explode.

Peace Breakers

Then there are the peace breakers. These are the people who escalate conflict, who seem to thrive on stirring the pot. Maybe you’re picturing someone specific right now (don’t look at your sibling sitting next to you). Peace breakers let their pride, ego, or desire to be right drive their actions, and in doing so, they cause division.

Proverbs 15:1 reminds us that “a gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” Peace breakers choose the latter. They’re quick to snap, quick to defend, and quick to fight. But as believers, we’re called to a higher standard.

I’ll be honest: this is where I struggle the most. My pride is my Achilles’ heel. Some people have lovingly pointed it out to me, and they’re right. It’s a constant battle to push it down and pursue humility through the work of the Spirit. Left unchecked, my pride tempts me to prioritize being right over being righteous, and it’s a daily reminder that I can’t do this in my own strength. Peacemaking requires surrender, humility, and God’s grace.

Peacemakers

This is where we’re called to live. Jesus said in Matthew 5:9, “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God.” Notice He didn’t say peacekeepers or peace igniters—He said peacemakers. Being a peacemaker isn’t passive. It’s active. It’s intentional. And it’s hard work.

Romans 12:18 puts it this way: “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” Being a peacemaker means taking responsibility for your part. It means seeking reconciliation, even when it’s uncomfortable. It means apologizing when you’ve messed up and forgiving when someone else has.

Practical Steps to Peacemaking

1. Check Your Heart – Before you approach any conflict, ask yourself: What’s my motivation here? Is it to win the argument or to restore the relationship? Proverbs 4:23 says, “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” Start here.
2. Speak the Truth in Love – Ephesians 4:15 reminds us to speak the truth in love. This doesn’t mean being passive-aggressive or sugarcoating everything, but it does mean being kind and considerate in how you address issues.
3. Seek to Understand – James 1:19 says, “Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry.” Listen more than you talk. Seek to understand the other person’s perspective before jumping to conclusions.
4. Pray About It – Philippians 4:6-7 encourages us to bring everything to God in prayer. If you’re facing conflict, pray for wisdom, clarity, and for God to work in the situation. Prayer has a way of softening hearts—yours and theirs.
5. Don’t Be Afraid of Hard Conversations – Peacemaking often requires uncomfortable conversations. But Proverbs 27:6 reminds us, “Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses.” Love sometimes means speaking hard truths.

Being a peacemaker isn’t just about resolving conflict; it’s about reflecting the heart of God. Colossians 1:20 tells us that through Jesus, God reconciled all things to Himself, making peace through His blood. When we make peace, we mirror the gospel. We show the world what it looks like to live in harmony with God and with others.

So, the next time you’re faced with conflict, ask yourself: Am I being a peace faker, a peace breaker, or a peacemaker? Choose wisely. The world doesn’t need more fakers or breakers. It needs more people willing to roll up their sleeves and do the hard, holy work of making peace.