Ministry life is nonstop. There are meetings, messages to prepare, and people who need you—and it’s easy to pour everything into serving the church. But here’s the reality: you’re replaceable at church. You’re not replaceable in your family.
I wrestle with this too. Balancing ministry and family is hard, and I don’t always get it right.
God’s Design Starts at Home
Before there was a church, there was a family (Genesis 2:24). Marriage and parenting were always meant to mirror God’s love and faithfulness. Paul doesn’t pull punches when he says, “If anyone does not know how to manage his own household, how will he take care of God’s church?” (1 Timothy 3:5). Your primary calling isn’t your platform—it’s your home.
We see this modeled in Scripture. Abraham was called to lead his family in faith before he ever became the father of nations. Joshua declared, “As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord” (Joshua 24:15). Even Jesus, in His final moments on the cross, made sure His mother was cared for by John. Family isn’t just important—it’s foundational.
Ministry can be intoxicating. The affirmation, the sense of purpose, the constant need—it all pulls at you. But no one reflects at the end of their life wishing they spent more time in meetings. Plenty, though, wish they had been more present for their families.
Eli in 1 Samuel is a case study in what happens when you neglect family for ministry. He served the temple well, but his failure to lead his own sons led to heartbreak. David, too, was a mighty king but struggled as a father. These examples should serve as warnings for us. “Success” in ministry should never come at the expense of failure at home.
So how do we keep our families from becoming collateral damage in ministry?
- Guard Your Time Ruthlessly: Family dinners, bedtime routines, Saturday mornings—make them non-negotiable.
- Be All-In at Home: Put down the phone, close the laptop, and give your family your attention when you’re with them.
- Bring Them Along: Let your family serve with you when it makes sense. Show them they’re part of the mission, not in competition with it.
- Have Hard Conversations: Check in with your spouse and kids. Ask how they feel about ministry life. Listen and adjust.
- Live Your Faith at Home First: Your family needs to see the same person offstage as onstage. I’m convicted by this often because my family sees the raw, unfiltered version of me.
- Prioritize Sabbath Together: Ministry can make you feel like you always have to be “on,” but God designed us for rest. Make sure your family gets to enjoy a rhythm of rest with you.
The Legacy That Really Matters
Your church will have another leader someday. Your family only gets one you. Ministry matters—but not at the expense of your marriage and kids.
The best ministry you’ll ever have starts at your dinner table, not behind a pulpit. What your kids see in you day-to-day will shape their understanding of faith far more than any sermon you preach or event you lead. So love them well, lead them well, and don’t lose sight of the ministry that will always matter most—your family.
Lucas Leibforth 
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